








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 599 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 522 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4349 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4718 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6471 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4822 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,900,894 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taskmanager | 58% | 103 |
| #2 | bilbo.- | 56% | 75 |
| #3 | -_skill issue | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | M1CHAL16 | 55% | 83 |
| #5 | Grymo | 55% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Pischan Number One | 46% | 71 |
| #12 | Gh0sT | 46% | 118 |
| #13 | Bruno el Perro | 46% | 147 |
| #14 | J0N1 | 44% | 127 |
| #15 | Wallah mach nicht so ☂ | 42% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HARALD | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ★LtR★ | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | KatzederHund | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Bruno el Perro | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Taskmanager | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HARALD | 751 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #2 | ★LtR★ | 619 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | KatzederHund | 419 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Taskmanager | 364 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | bilbo.- | 326 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilbo.- | +3.16 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | Gh0sT | +0.82 | 70 | 72 |
| #3 | -_skill issue | +0.58 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | M1CHAL16 | +0.45 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | HARALD | +0.31 | 58 | 78 |





