








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 584 | 21% |
| Smokes | 759 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 595 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,771 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cola | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | PicklesJars | 67% | 45 |
| #3 | ally | 63% | 75 |
| #4 | ry^_^ | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Sahara | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sahara | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | Valid | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | Fleviy | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | Bun | 38% | 16 |
| #9 | Vassa | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ally | 11 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | PicklesJars | 8 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Bun | 3 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Fleviy | 3 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | Sahara | 1 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ally | 148 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | PicklesJars | 111 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Vassa | 50 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cola | 37 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | ry^_^ | 31 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cola | +4.53 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | ally | +2.63 | 70 | 47 |
| #3 | Valid | +2.31 | 52 | 38 |
| #4 | Clancy49 | +0.51 | 64 | 49 |
| #5 | ry^_^ | -1.09 | 55 | 67 |





