








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7226 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6108 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3354 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4333 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,967 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1519 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BLOATMAXX | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | JBomb | 52% | 84 |
| #5 | enana | 52% | 183 |
| #6 | NoHit | 46% | 24 |
| #7 | Swooty | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enana | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | NoHit | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Swooty | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | JBomb | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | fr0sty | 1 | 0.0011 |





