








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 820 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 795 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10819 | 25% |
| Smokes | 14613 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 9359 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9282 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,071,117 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 陽光彩虹小白馬 | 53% | 111 |
| #8 | ANGGER2EZ | 53% | 198 |
| #9 | eZd | 52% | 398 |
| #10 | 3DDD.Yutachuu | 52% | 404 |
| #11 | JankyJohn | 45% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eZd | 34 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | 3DDD.Yutachuu | 17 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | JankyJohn | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | NOLIMIT | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Rico | 8 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blancco | +3.55 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Teddy9704 | +3.09 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | 뚝딱이 | +2.80 | 91 | 63 |
| #4 | SCOTTY CRIPPIN' | +2.36 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | Rico | +1.59 | 63 | 59 |





