








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1798 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2175 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1997 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2167 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,902 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pede | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | MzWw^ | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Naduki | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | jan | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Lady Killer | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Lady Killer | 53% | 19 |
| #6 | Slothpeek | 50% | 62 |
| #7 | twitch.tv/ t_w_t_p | 43% | 76 |
| #8 | Benji | 43% | 58 |
| #9 | Vald3 | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/ t_w_t_p | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Benji | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/ t_w_t_p | 155 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Slothpeek | 126 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vald3 | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | MzWw^ | 32 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lady Killer | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MzWw^ | +6.19 | 69 | 56 |
| #2 | Slothpeek | +3.63 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | jan | +1.66 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | Pede | +0.41 | 23 | 76 |
| #5 | Benji | +0.22 | 29 | 56 |





