








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 323 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1477 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1258 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1504 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,854 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HoelRoidz | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Glenn "Præsi" | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | ☣︎☢︎Franz "Cliff"☢ MP7 | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | BigBadD | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Shino-san | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sp@cie | 41% | 81 |
| #9 | Slothpeek | 41% | 59 |
| #10 | Vald3 | 38% | 56 |
| #11 | Bønne | 33% | 24 |
| #12 | Pede | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sp@cie | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/ t_w_t_p | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Vald3 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | C3N4 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Bønne | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/ t_w_t_p | 191 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sp@cie | 119 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vald3 | 110 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | C3N4 | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Slothpeek | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slothpeek | +3.40 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | ☣︎☢︎Franz "Cliff"☢ MP7 | +2.60 | 33 | 70 |
| #3 | Shino-san | +2.21 | 23 | 62 |
| #4 | Glenn "Præsi" | +1.73 | 34 | 47 |
| #5 | HoelRoidz | +1.71 | 66 | 61 |





