








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,665 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2330 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2850 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4392 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3362 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,449,114 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fangool | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Trey- ⛴ | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | MzWw^ | 58% | 250 |
| #5 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MzWw^ | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | FrederikWors凸(¬‿¬)凸 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Nikwitz ツ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | HeXTaG | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MzWw^ | 1053 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #2 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | 216 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 89 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | FrederikWors凸(¬‿¬)凸 | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Trey- ⛴ | 75 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MzWw^ | +2.96 | 54 | 69 |
| #2 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +2.86 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | +2.69 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | HeXTaG | +2.45 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | fangool | +2.24 | 72 | 70 |





