








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1896 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3380 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4449 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2480 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,293,641 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rosham' | 54% | 61 |
| #2 | mindplay | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | pewpew | 45% | 159 |
| #4 | Kra | 44% | 135 |
| #5 | Ben | 42% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kra | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Ben | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | SeGGi | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | rosham' | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | pewpew | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kra | 277 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ben | 202 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | DEE | 123 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | mindplay | 109 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | rosham' | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mindplay | +3.07 | 82 | 80 |
| #2 | rosham' | +2.43 | 53 | 52 |
| #3 | Kra | +1.93 | 55 | 67 |
| #4 | pewpew | +0.58 | 59 | 57 |
| #5 | bauer | +0.51 | 60 | 69 |





