








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 705 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 155 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8477 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8209 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 10679 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 9660 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,607,375 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1797 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rosham' | 55% | 163 |
| #2 | bauer | 48% | 121 |
| #3 | SeGGi | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | Ben | 47% | 279 |
| #5 | mindplay | 46% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ben | 47% | 279 |
| #5 | mindplay | 46% | 67 |
| #6 | pewpew | 46% | 190 |
| #7 | basti_486. | 44% | 135 |
| #8 | DEE | 43% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | 18 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | basti_486. | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | SeGGi | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | rosham' | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | DEE | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | 351 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | mindplay | 284 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | DEE | 269 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | rosham' | 249 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | basti_486. | 167 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mindplay | +1.01 | 74 | 78 |
| #2 | rosham' | +0.81 | 52 | 52 |
| #3 | Kra | +0.53 | 59 | 64 |
| #4 | bauer | +0.02 | 57 | 69 |
| #5 | Ben | -0.68 | 44 | 60 |





