








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 920 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 152 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2067 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2446 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5355 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 3827 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,477,130 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 801 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mindplay | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | rosham' | 50% | 109 |
| #3 | bauer | 47% | 117 |
| #4 | Kra | 47% | 279 |
| #5 | SeGGi | 46% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kra | 20 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | basti_486. | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | rosham' | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | SeGGi | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | pewpew | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kra | 583 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | mindplay | 259 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | DEE | 258 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | basti_486. | 185 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | rosham' | 163 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mindplay | +2.00 | 79 | 79 |
| #2 | rosham' | +1.44 | 47 | 50 |
| #3 | Kra | +1.31 | 55 | 64 |
| #4 | bauer | +0.84 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | Ben | -0.26 | 47 | 61 |





