








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1961 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3240 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1433 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1417 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,848,059 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobody | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | TurboDiesel | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | Milabeck | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | RonnyPonny | 47% | 121 |
| #5 | Fenix | 45% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smy | 60 | 0.0225 |
| #2 | HeInIkel | 48 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | RonnyPonny | 12 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Don Juan | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | MorDi | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeInIkel | 558 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | smy | 447 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | RonnyPonny | 249 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Don Juan | 156 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | MorDi | 140 | 0.07 | 3 min |





