








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1785 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1659 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1628 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2016 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $780,549 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ h1dd3n | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | FreeZ | 85% | 13 |
| #3 | .d0mi | 76% | 21 |
| #4 | Nevermind | 67% | 27 |
| #5 | SexyhAs | 64% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazypoint | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | Jesuis Y. | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | REDCOCKBABY | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazypoint | 422 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | yung lemaus | 379 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | SexyhAs | 375 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nevermind | 158 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | .d0mi | 130 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +2.15 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | ✪ h1dd3n | +1.98 | 88 | 71 |
| #3 | Norbert | +1.43 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | .d0mi | +1.33 | 90 | 69 |
| #5 | REDCOCKBABY | +0.25 | 86 | 50 |





