








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1571 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1383 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1385 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1232 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $346,092 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ h1dd3n | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | FreeZ | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Jesuis Y. | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | SexyhAs | 59% | 49 |
| #5 | Norbert | 58% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norbert | 380 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | SexyhAs | 187 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | yung lemaus | 142 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nevermind | 88 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jesuis Y. | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +2.80 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | ✪ h1dd3n | +1.43 | 90 | 68 |
| #3 | Norbert | +1.31 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | crazypoint | +0.58 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | yung lemaus | +0.30 | 73 | 69 |





