








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 520 matches | ||
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2272 | 11% |
| Smokes | 5738 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8556 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 4824 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,732,198 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2729 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blackout ッ | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | SKA4 | 50% | 56 |
| #3 | EcliptiC SolaR | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | Jaywin | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | yesreK | 46% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caYabo | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | EcliptiC SolaR | 13 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Just1ceBeav3r | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Blackout ッ | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | yesreK | 6 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just1ceBeav3r | 651 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | caYabo | 399 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | rebz | 399 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Blackout ッ | 267 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | EcliptiC SolaR | 209 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blackout ッ | +4.03 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Jam-37 | +3.82 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | rebz | +2.28 | 52 | 72 |
| #4 | Jaywin | +0.81 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | SKA4 | +0.07 | 54 | 57 |





