








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 434 matches | ||
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7465 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6746 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5554 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3568 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,582,751 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ol'hunnids | 49% | 86 |
| #11 | caYabo | 46% | 217 |
| #12 | Defacto | 46% | 207 |
| #13 | rebz | 46% | 138 |
| #14 | ✪ Janky | 44% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ol'hunnids | 14 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Jam-37 | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Defacto | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | EcliptiC SolaR | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Symbiotic Ace | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jam-37 | 883 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #2 | rebz | 409 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | caYabo | 289 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | 🧡MsKinTTV | 241 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | viper | 240 | 0.11 | 5 min |





