








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4356 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4909 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2940 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4823 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,163,919 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ě̴̲ä̵̞́m̶̞̓s̶̡͗ | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | h0bo | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | eve RyuA | 61% | 64 |
| #4 | Wolfman | 60% | 63 |
| #5 | Yapph | 57% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Wolfman | 60% | 63 |
| #5 | Yapph | 57% | 103 |
| #6 | rex | 57% | 123 |
| #7 | aeasf | 55% | 101 |
| #8 | C̵h̷e̶r̵r̸y̴ ̸B̷o̸i̵ ̵H̶×n̶t̴e̸r | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rex | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ě̴̲ä̵̞́m̶̞̓s̶̡͗ | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Yapph | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Wolfman | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | h0bo | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rex | 622 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | aeasf | 330 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Yapph | 265 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | ě̴̲ä̵̞́m̶̞̓s̶̡͗ | 172 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | h0bo | 167 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eve RyuA | +3.00 | 94 | 48 |
| #2 | AdderallPM | +2.66 | 85 | 49 |
| #3 | h0bo | +1.81 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | ě̴̲ä̵̞́m̶̞̓s̶̡͗ | +1.22 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | Wolfman | +0.61 | 79 | 58 |





