








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 521 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2976 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3609 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5353 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4638 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,133,936 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1051 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boofy THEREALCOW | 65% | 71 |
| #2 | daddys favorite cumdumpster | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | rt.wav | 61% | 94 |
| #4 | AdderallPM | 60% | 63 |
| #5 | e10 | 58% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AdderallPM | 60% | 63 |
| #5 | e10 | 58% | 187 |
| #6 | eve RyuA | 58% | 541 |
| #7 | The man in the corner | 51% | 114 |
| #8 | ChuchunYa | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eve RyuA | 15 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | daddys favorite cumdumpster | 9 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | ChuchunYa | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | rt.wav | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Boofy THEREALCOW | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The man in the corner | 496 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | eve RyuA | 437 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #3 | rt.wav | 369 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | e10 | 229 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | ChuchunYa | 177 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eve RyuA | +3.18 | 94 | 44 |
| #2 | Wolfman | +1.50 | 79 | 50 |
| #3 | e10 | +0.24 | 81 | 50 |
| #4 | Boofy THEREALCOW | -0.50 | 68 | 66 |
| #5 | The man in the corner | -0.83 | 70 | 61 |





