








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 795 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1957 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3512 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3673 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1220 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,607,536 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boofy THEREALCOW | 67% | 100 |
| #2 | rt.wav | 62% | 102 |
| #3 | AdderallPM | 61% | 64 |
| #4 | Wolfman | 58% | 541 |
| #5 | e10 | 58% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AdderallPM | 61% | 64 |
| #4 | Wolfman | 58% | 541 |
| #5 | e10 | 58% | 232 |
| #6 | The man in the corner | 49% | 111 |
| #7 | ChuchunYa | 45% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolfman | 20 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ChuchunYa | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Boofy THEREALCOW | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | e10 | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | rt.wav | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolfman | 848 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #2 | The man in the corner | 434 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | rt.wav | 413 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | e10 | 275 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | ChuchunYa | 259 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eve RyuA | +3.69 | 94 | 44 |
| #2 | Wolfman | +0.83 | 79 | 52 |
| #3 | e10 | +0.63 | 81 | 50 |
| #4 | Boofy THEREALCOW | +0.09 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | AdderallPM | -1.07 | 84 | 44 |





