








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4320 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3949 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1966 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3591 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,222,075 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ě̴̲ä̵̞́m̶̞̓s̶̡͗ | 68% | 53 |
| #2 | Ark | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Yapph | 58% | 105 |
| #4 | AdderallPM | 57% | 123 |
| #5 | aeasf | 55% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | aeasf | 55% | 106 |
| #6 | ICY | 52% | 27 |
| #7 | C̵h̷e̶r̵r̸y̴ ̸B̷o̸i̵ ̵H̶×n̶t̴e̸r | 51% | 53 |
| #8 | meat | 49% | 41 |
| #9 | adept | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yapph | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ě̴̲ä̵̞́m̶̞̓s̶̡͗ | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ICY | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | AdderallPM | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | aeasf | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aeasf | 341 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Yapph | 269 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | AdderallPM | 242 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ě̴̲ä̵̞́m̶̞̓s̶̡͗ | 157 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | meat | 155 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meat | +2.74 | 75 | 53 |
| #2 | AdderallPM | +2.28 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | ě̴̲ä̵̞́m̶̞̓s̶̡͗ | +2.14 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | ICY | +0.76 | 77 | 57 |
| #5 | adept | +0.34 | 76 | 58 |





