








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1557 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2013 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 885 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1450 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,718 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 怒り | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | mrshmlw- | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Conath | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | BOB | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | patrickM- | 49% | 45 |
| #8 | Josh | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | getrektyshka | 46% | 13 |
| #10 | Baer | 45% | 33 |
| #11 | Tek | 40% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tek | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | b1ess3d' | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Conath | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | patrickM- | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | patrickM- | 234 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tek | 204 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | b1ess3d' | 159 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | 131 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Baer | 117 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | +3.27 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | +2.22 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | getrektyshka | +1.12 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | Conath | +0.95 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | Ketster | +0.71 | 82 | 60 |





