








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 189 | 12% |
| Smokes | 539 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 345 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 487 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $299,381 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Knoxx | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | Klaskemannen | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | SalmoN | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Average USP enjoyer | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | Harry.T | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beg | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Peaves | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Knoxx | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | CoolReal | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gltich.exe | 86 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | CoolReal | 61 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Peaves | 56 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Klaskemannen | 55 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Knoxx | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoolReal | +2.42 | 68 | 53 |
| #2 | Peaves | +2.02 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | Knoxx | +0.94 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | Beg | +0.32 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | Sbeve | -0.21 | 78 | 40 |





