








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2248 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4722 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3189 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2531 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,158,596 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Catinho | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | Knoxx | 58% | 79 |
| #3 | SalmoN | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | gltich.exe | 56% | 171 |
| #5 | CoolReal | 53% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Beg | 53% | 182 |
| #7 | Average USP enjoyer | 52% | 65 |
| #8 | Klaskemannen | 47% | 64 |
| #9 | Sbeve | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | Harry.T | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gltich.exe | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Sbeve | 6 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Beg | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Average USP enjoyer | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | CoolReal | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoolReal | 601 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | gltich.exe | 420 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Klaskemannen | 179 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Average USP enjoyer | 171 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | SalmoN | 135 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoolReal | +2.47 | 69 | 47 |
| #2 | Peaves | +0.78 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | Knoxx | +0.44 | 86 | 54 |
| #4 | Beg | -0.36 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | SalmoN | -0.94 | 75 | 70 |





