








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3747 | 54% |
| Smokes | 2053 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 421 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 779 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,519,221 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SalmoN | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | Beg | 51% | 269 |
| #6 | gltich.exe | 50% | 211 |
| #7 | Knoxx | 50% | 102 |
| #8 | Average USP enjoyer | 46% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peaves | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | gltich.exe | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Average USP enjoyer | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Beg | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Klaskemannen | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gltich.exe | 466 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Average USP enjoyer | 297 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Peaves | 236 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | SalmoN | 179 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Klaskemannen | 155 | 0.12 | 4 min |





