








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2422 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3428 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2289 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2965 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,287 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Beg | 52% | 201 |
| #7 | Klaskemannen | 51% | 65 |
| #8 | CoolReal | 50% | 211 |
| #9 | Average USP enjoyer | 46% | 61 |
| #10 | Harry.T | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peaves | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | CoolReal | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Beg | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Average USP enjoyer | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Klaskemannen | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoolReal | 661 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Peaves | 243 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Klaskemannen | 167 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Average USP enjoyer | 159 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Knoxx | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |





