








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 658 | 25% |
| Smokes | 604 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 760 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,470 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bussigt! | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | SteDarN- | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | BJIERDIDARF | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Miggan | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | The Blue Magician | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ruddan | 43% | 53 |
| #9 | shmutt | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | Legshotlars | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | mouf | 36% | 42 |
| #12 | Bbt | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buccan | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Ruddan | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | mouf | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | BJIERDIDARF | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Legshotlars | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruddan | 107 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | mouf | 90 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | DEEL | 89 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | buccan | 68 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | BJIERDIDARF | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bussigt! | +4.64 | 84 | 82 |
| #2 | buccan | +2.34 | 93 | 59 |
| #3 | The Blue Magician | +1.87 | 85 | 76 |
| #4 | BJIERDIDARF | +1.40 | 83 | 71 |
| #5 | Legshotlars | +0.52 | 58 | 55 |





