








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 175 | 19% |
| Smokes | 209 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 295 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 251 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,365 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mouf | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Legshotlars | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Bussigt! | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | buccan | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Ruddan | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DEEL | 55% | 40 |
| #7 | sadboi | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | shmutt | 33% | 18 |
| #9 | BJIERDIDARF | 0% | 2 |
| #10 | The Blue Magician | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shmutt | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | DEEL | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | buccan | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | mouf | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEEL | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ruddan | 59 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | mouf | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | buccan | 21 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | sadboi | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bussigt! | +5.10 | 91 | 85 |
| #2 | buccan | +3.38 | 91 | 58 |
| #3 | The Blue Magician | +2.41 | 56 | 75 |
| #4 | Legshotlars | +1.94 | 69 | 72 |
| #5 | Ruddan | +1.27 | 76 | 76 |





