








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2756 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2419 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3241 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2341 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,121 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | forgisss | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Smo | 51% | 70 |
| #3 | JV | 51% | 213 |
| #4 | Barbilicious | 48% | 128 |
| #5 | Farsh | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Smo | 51% | 70 |
| #3 | JV | 51% | 213 |
| #4 | Barbilicious | 48% | 128 |
| #5 | Farsh | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | mahfn | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JV | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Barbilicious | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Smo | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | forgisss | 3 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JV | 1362 | 0.30 | 44 min |
| #2 | Barbilicious | 279 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Smo | 232 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | forgisss | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Farsh | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | forgisss | +2.59 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | JV | +2.31 | 83 | 82 |
| #3 | Smo | +0.29 | 64 | 72 |
| #4 | dectros | -0.99 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | Barbilicious | -1.43 | 61 | 59 |





