








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2366 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1810 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1747 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1647 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,618 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɯ:ɹƃ | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Draws | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | spookygoats | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Ree Tar Dead | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | 🗲spacePuppy | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ree Tar Dead | 412 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ashe | 178 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | panda1ap | 112 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | 🗲spacePuppy | 72 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bing | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draws | +5.57 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | Ashe | +2.78 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | Russ | +2.67 | 68 | 50 |
| #4 | ɯ:ɹƃ | +2.54 | 86 | 28 |
| #5 | 🗲spacePuppy | +2.48 | 58 | 60 |





