








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 30% |
| Smokes | 306 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 264 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 377 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,081 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAGEQUITRON | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | 48% | 67 |
| #3 | ☢Newklear☢ | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | çrocsieJESUS | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Jayherryy | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ☢Newklear☢ | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | çrocsieJESUS | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Jayherryy | 44% | 48 |
| #6 | Çôld_ƒîR£™ | 39% | 31 |
| #7 | pizza on a bagel | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢Newklear☢ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢Newklear☢ | 161 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jayherryy | 137 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | çrocsieJESUS | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | RAGEQUITRON | 25 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | çrocsieJESUS | +3.43 | 53 | 52 |
| #2 | RAGEQUITRON | +2.42 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | Jayherryy | +1.69 | 54 | 77 |
| #4 | ☢Newklear☢ | +0.40 | 49 | 76 |
| #5 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | +0.15 | 37 | 52 |





