








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 72 | 24% |
| Smokes | 148 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 19 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 65 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $77,805 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAGEQUITRON | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | 41% | 34 |
| #3 | ☢Newklear☢ | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | Jayherryy | 40% | 30 |
| #5 | SheaButter | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | 41% | 34 |
| #3 | ☢Newklear☢ | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | Jayherryy | 40% | 30 |
| #5 | SheaButter | 39% | 31 |
| #6 | pizza on a bagel | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢Newklear☢ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢Newklear☢ | 99 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | SheaButter | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jayherryy | 76 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | RAGEQUITRON | 10 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAGEQUITRON | +1.48 | 64 | 74 |
| #2 | Jayherryy | +1.36 | 58 | 75 |
| #3 | ☢Newklear☢ | +0.58 | 50 | 77 |
| #4 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | -0.15 | 36 | 60 |
| #5 | SheaButter | -1.79 | 45 | 50 |





