








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 92 | 27% |
| Smokes | 79 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 164 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 11 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $60,668 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayherryy | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | [SmD]Alucard|.aG.| | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | pizza on a bagel | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | ☢Newklear☢ | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pizza on a bagel | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | ☢Newklear☢ | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | SheaButter | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | RAGEQUITRON | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢Newklear☢ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | SheaButter | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayherryy | 69 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | ☢Newklear☢ | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | SheaButter | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | RAGEQUITRON | 5 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | çrocsieJESUS | +3.00 | 55 | 48 |
| #2 | RAGEQUITRON | +0.95 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | Jayherryy | +0.37 | 41 | 73 |
| #4 | ☢Newklear☢ | -0.24 | 50 | 69 |
| #5 | ☆Doctor_NumNums☆ | -0.68 | 32 | 38 |





