








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 163 | 5% |
| Smokes | 551 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2211 | 63% |
| Molotovs | 603 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $572,033 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <@>shock0r | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | 59% | 58 |
| #3 | Kodiak | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Ron Cadillac | 51% | 224 |
| #5 | Feared | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <@>shock0r | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | 59% | 58 |
| #3 | Kodiak | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Ron Cadillac | 51% | 224 |
| #5 | Feared | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Cadillac | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | <@>shock0r | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Cadillac | 333 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Feared | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | <@>shock0r | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kodiak | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Battlesnakes | +3.40 | 51 | 61 |
| #2 | Ron Cadillac | +2.86 | 55 | 61 |
| #3 | Feared | +1.09 | 27 | 46 |
| #4 | <@>shock0r | -0.23 | 46 | 36 |
| #5 | Chief Beef | -2.81 | 18 | 28 |





