








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 972 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2576 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1934 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2020 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,761 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Beef | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Feared | 46% | 123 |
| #3 | Battlesnakes | 45% | 218 |
| #4 | Ron Cadillac | 44% | 277 |
| #5 | REGIONAL MANAGER | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Feared | 46% | 123 |
| #3 | Battlesnakes | 45% | 218 |
| #4 | Ron Cadillac | 44% | 277 |
| #5 | REGIONAL MANAGER | 40% | 30 |
| #6 | Kodiak | 38% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Cadillac | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Feared | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Kodiak | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Cadillac | 381 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | 289 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Feared | 116 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kodiak | 62 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | REGIONAL MANAGER | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REGIONAL MANAGER | +4.34 | 85 | 33 |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | +2.63 | 52 | 60 |
| #3 | Ron Cadillac | +1.01 | 50 | 60 |
| #4 | Feared | -0.68 | 39 | 40 |
| #5 | <@>shock0r | -1.29 | 44 | 41 |





