








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 234 matches | ||
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3841 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3419 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2708 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2059 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,573,545 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Beef | 59% | 58 |
| #2 | Ron Cadillac | 47% | 401 |
| #3 | REGIONAL MANAGER | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | Feared | 46% | 224 |
| #5 | <@>shock0r | 45% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ron Cadillac | 47% | 401 |
| #3 | REGIONAL MANAGER | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | Feared | 46% | 224 |
| #5 | <@>shock0r | 45% | 218 |
| #6 | Kodiak | 39% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kodiak | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Ron Cadillac | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | <@>shock0r | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Feared | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Chief Beef | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Cadillac | 557 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| #2 | Feared | 240 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kodiak | 143 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | <@>shock0r | 111 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | REGIONAL MANAGER | 23 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REGIONAL MANAGER | +4.26 | 86 | 35 |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | +2.19 | 52 | 61 |
| #3 | Ron Cadillac | +0.69 | 51 | 61 |
| #4 | Feared | -1.06 | 39 | 43 |
| #5 | <@>shock0r | -2.42 | 42 | 43 |





