








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Faceit | 307 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4996 | 18% |
| Smokes | 9261 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 8664 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4140 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,476,643 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 564 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Beef | 51% | 224 |
| #2 | Feared | 49% | 242 |
| #3 | Battlesnakes | 47% | 401 |
| #4 | REGIONAL MANAGER | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | <@>shock0r | 44% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Feared | 49% | 242 |
| #3 | Battlesnakes | 47% | 401 |
| #4 | REGIONAL MANAGER | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | <@>shock0r | 44% | 277 |
| #6 | Kodiak | 39% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kodiak | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | <@>shock0r | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Feared | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Chief Beef | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Battlesnakes | 565 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| #2 | Feared | 242 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | <@>shock0r | 147 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kodiak | 145 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Chief Beef | 32 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REGIONAL MANAGER | +4.19 | 86 | 36 |
| #2 | Battlesnakes | +2.21 | 52 | 61 |
| #3 | Ron Cadillac | +0.77 | 51 | 60 |
| #4 | Feared | -0.87 | 39 | 43 |
| #5 | <@>shock0r | -2.22 | 43 | 41 |





