








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 792 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1557 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,694 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jlaw | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | nisuäiä | 59% | 130 |
| #3 | jokkepappa | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | juuchto | 51% | 89 |
| #5 | WatukkA | 49% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | einari | 46% | 41 |
| #7 | Keppi | 45% | 96 |
| #8 | Hakapaka | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | ЯEBEL 😍 | 32% | 25 |
| #10 | Toffe | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WatukkA | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | nisuäiä | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | jokkepappa | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Keppi | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | juuchto | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keppi | 195 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | juuchto | 191 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | nisuäiä | 187 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hakapaka | 135 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | jokkepappa | 121 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jokkepappa | +3.45 | 66 | 67 |
| #2 | jlaw | +2.83 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | juuchto | +2.30 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | nisuäiä | +1.79 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | Toffe | +0.93 | 74 | 72 |





