








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1018 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1136 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 686 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $550,394 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jlaw | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | jokkepappa | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | opa | 59% | 130 |
| #4 | WatukkA | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Keppi | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | WatukkA | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Keppi | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | HANAA MIKA | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | juuchto | 50% | 52 |
| #8 | Nilmelius | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | opa | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | juuchto | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Keppi | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | jlaw | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juuchto | 127 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Keppi | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | opa | 72 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | jlaw | 63 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | WatukkA | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jokkepappa | +2.84 | 58 | 62 |
| #2 | jlaw | +2.17 | 65 | 58 |
| #3 | nisuäiä | +1.71 | 78 | 55 |
| #4 | juuchto | +1.44 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | opa | +0.31 | 68 | 42 |





