








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
435 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1229 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1293 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 960 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,154 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HANAA MIKA | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | nisuäiä | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | jokkepappa | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | WatukkA | 47% | 107 |
| #5 | juuchto | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | WatukkA | 47% | 107 |
| #5 | juuchto | 46% | 71 |
| #6 | opa | 45% | 96 |
| #7 | einari | 41% | 37 |
| #8 | Hakapaka | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WatukkA | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | opa | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | jokkepappa | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | juuchto | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | nisuäiä | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juuchto | 166 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | jokkepappa | 100 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | WatukkA | 75 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | opa | 65 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | nisuäiä | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jokkepappa | +3.30 | 66 | 70 |
| #2 | juuchto | +2.53 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | nisuäiä | +1.70 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | HANAA MIKA | +1.42 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | WatukkA | +0.64 | 57 | 58 |





