








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 748 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Esplay | 12 matches | 1,781 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4116 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4642 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4443 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2973 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,661 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophets.dk | βͺ DeTox^| | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | PinkyDinky^ | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | π
π
| 62% | 42 |
| #4 | βΏHzEβΏ | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | Mort^ | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | HellkNighT | 55% | 137 |
| #8 | Silverwreck | 52% | 48 |
| #9 | MAT767 | 52% | 83 |
| #10 | Monobraum | 51% | 96 |
| #11 | HjortH | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HjortH | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Golly | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | HellkNighT | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Monobraum | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | MAT767 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAT767 | 255 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Monobraum | 157 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | HjortH | 152 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Prophets.dk | βͺ DeTox^| | 125 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Silverwreck | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β¨π
Ώπ
»π
°ππ
Ύπ
½ ββ€ | +1.84 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | Mort^ | +1.58 | 82 | 75 |
| #3 | HjortH | +1.55 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | Prophets.dk | βͺ DeTox^| | +1.06 | 85 | 63 |
| #5 | PinkyDinky^ | +0.71 | 88 | 67 |





