








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 551 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1376 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2462 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2535 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2097 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,665,944 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βΏHzEβΏ | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | SigMa- | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | PinkyDinky^ | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | π
π
| 56% | 32 |
| #5 | MAT767 | 53% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | β¨π
Ώπ
»π
°ππ
Ύπ
½ ββ€ | 50% | 107 |
| #10 | Rfss21 (RenΓ©) | 50% | 22 |
| #11 | BurgerSlange | 50% | 28 |
| #12 | Monobraum | 50% | 177 |
| #13 | Golly | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HellkNighT | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | MAT767 | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Silverwreck | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Monobraum | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | β¨π
Ώπ
»π
°ππ
Ύπ
½ ββ€ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAT767 | 539 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | Monobraum | 306 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | β¨π
Ώπ
»π
°ππ
Ύπ
½ ββ€ | 181 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Silverwreck | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | HellkNighT | 153 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PinkyDinky^ | +3.88 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | HjortH | +2.41 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | β¨π
Ώπ
»π
°ππ
Ύπ
½ ββ€ | +1.65 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | HellkNighT | +0.37 | 63 | 62 |
| #5 | Golly | +0.36 | 39 | 69 |





