








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 334 | 26% |
| Smokes | 289 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 418 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 233 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $123,391 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | talks like he's an anime | 46% | 24 |
| #2 | undr | 40% | 48 |
| #3 | Quest | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | gigalz | 32% | 31 |
| #5 | notes | 29% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | undr | 40% | 48 |
| #3 | Quest | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | gigalz | 32% | 31 |
| #5 | notes | 29% | 41 |
| #6 | King | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | undr | 9 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | gigalz | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | talks like he's an anime | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | notes | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Quest | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quest | 148 | 0.44 | 4 min |
| #2 | undr | 143 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | gigalz | 108 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | notes | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | talks like he's an anime | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quest | +2.82 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | notes | +1.67 | 59 | 51 |
| #3 | gigalz | +0.35 | 53 | 84 |
| #4 | undr | -0.50 | 38 | 83 |
| #5 | soup dwarf | -2.56 | 38 | 46 |





