








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 977 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1206 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 811 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1133 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,117 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stay at home gamer | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Quest | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | soup dwarf | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | gigalz | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | notes | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Quest | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | soup dwarf | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | gigalz | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | notes | 41% | 56 |
| #6 | undr | 41% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | undr | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Quest | 5 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | gigalz | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | soup dwarf | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | undr | 247 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Quest | 201 | 0.47 | 6 min |
| #3 | gigalz | 154 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | notes | 94 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | soup dwarf | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quest | +3.62 | 68 | 77 |
| #2 | notes | +0.94 | 61 | 55 |
| #3 | stay at home gamer | +0.81 | 44 | 75 |
| #4 | undr | -0.41 | 41 | 77 |
| #5 | gigalz | -0.97 | 61 | 83 |





