








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 989 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Wingman | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5909 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6172 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5443 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5191 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,255,511 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colo | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | Slater | 56% | 97 |
| #3 | MR.JACKPOT | 55% | 118 |
| #4 | FuNny #muse | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | lokonat0r | 52% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GameSchaedl -iwnl- | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Neko Ashura | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | xTy | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Komoda- | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | c1bi´ | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komoda- | 754 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | eNdryK | 620 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | Neko Ashura | 505 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | GameSchaedl -iwnl- | 422 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Slater | 418 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GameSchaedl -iwnl- | +1.58 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | Komoda- | +1.43 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | MR.JACKPOT | +1.41 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | eNdryK | +0.24 | 81 | 69 |
| #5 | colo | +0.06 | 70 | 52 |





