








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2326 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1973 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2252 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1667 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,373 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 632 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ayeKaramba | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | Pepper Peerd ♞ | 59% | 79 |
| #3 | Capwithbeard. | 59% | 135 |
| #4 | Shady | 57% | 116 |
| #5 | Nazarius | 55% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pepper Peerd ♞ | 59% | 79 |
| #3 | Capwithbeard. | 59% | 135 |
| #4 | Shady | 57% | 116 |
| #5 | Nazarius | 55% | 151 |
| #6 | squeeze | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capwithbeard. | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Shady | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Nazarius | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Pepper Peerd ♞ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ayeKaramba | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nazarius | 591 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Shady | 537 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #3 | Capwithbeard. | 432 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | Pepper Peerd ♞ | 156 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | squeeze | 42 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaCo | +1.93 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | ayeKaramba | +1.67 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | Shady | +1.20 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | Capwithbeard. | +0.16 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | squeeze | -0.12 | 85 | 74 |





