








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 538 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5621 | 19% |
| Smokes | 8235 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8155 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7619 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,060,659 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIELSR | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | 🖕🏼 | 66% | 99 |
| #3 | HiltoN | 62% | 53 |
| #4 | Fluke | 62% | 152 |
| #5 | LulU | 59% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Shady | 53% | 98 |
| #15 | Capwithbeard. | 50% | 163 |
| #16 | Jax | 49% | 51 |
| #17 | Pepper Peerd ♞ | 48% | 90 |
| #18 | Nazarius | 47% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEEZUNG | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | 4NG4MUSH | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Fluke | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | ceurm | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Painkiller | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEEZUNG | 2034 | 0.28 | 58 min |
| #2 | 4NG4MUSH | 1672 | 0.29 | 41 min |
| #3 | ozjeh | 769 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #4 | Shady | 575 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #5 | ceurm | 488 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shady | +2.68 | 74 | 74 |
| #2 | SEEZUNG | +1.94 | 60 | 85 |
| #3 | 4NG4MUSH | +1.61 | 75 | 73 |
| #4 | LulU | +1.12 | 87 | 62 |
| #5 | ayeKaramba | +1.00 | 76 | 75 |





