








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1860 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 657 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1698 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2139 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2027 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,907 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Str0ke- | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Mafiota | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | A.I.M. | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | Seems Legit | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | 🔸Yuliyan | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1 | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | FluviaL | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | 🔸Yuliyan | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Skyfusion | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | HadesA | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1 | 443 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Skyfusion | 389 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | KAMENINIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO | 332 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #4 | HadesA | 137 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | 🔸Yuliyan | 126 | 0.22 | 3 min |





