








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 735 | 27% |
| Smokes | 669 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 624 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 668 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,020 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | brandon | 67% | 52 |
| #5 | Snart Dooly | 65% | 17 |
| #6 | nathan | 61% | 57 |
| #7 | ubantv | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | Mirage and Me | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nathan | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | brandon | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Snart Dooly | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Mirage and Me | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | autismax | +3.14 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | Mirage and Me | +2.85 | 70 | 36 |
| #3 | Hairy Polish Guy | +1.13 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | nathan | +0.82 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | chris | +0.76 | 80 | 37 |





