








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 103 | 33% |
| Smokes | 89 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 97 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 24 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $32,914 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✘ Lineo ✘ | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Tyrone | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Woellner | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Lara | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Afraid to get wet? | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | HitzK0pf | 50% | 2 |
| #10 | xIPinguIx | 50% | 2 |
| #11 | meowdy | 50% | 6 |
| #12 | HalfPenny | 40% | 5 |
| #13 | shksbr | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hans HermannS | 1 | 0.0250 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meowdy | 30 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #2 | HalfPenny | 19 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | HitzK0pf | 18 | 0.47 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tyrone | 11 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | xIPinguIx | 5 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erwinho | +3.57 | 64 | 78 |
| #2 | xIPinguIx | +3.29 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | Akii. | +1.96 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | meowdy | +1.22 | 93 | 63 |
| #5 | Woellner | +0.17 | 68 | 11 |





