








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 984 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1259 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 479 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 703 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,419 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woellner | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | Tyrone | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | Solidus™ | 76% | 21 |
| #4 | HitzK0pf | 76% | 25 |
| #5 | Mighty Shrimp | 75% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woellner | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Mighty Shrimp | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woellner | +4.45 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Solidus™ | +4.44 | 73 | 53 |
| #3 | HalfPenny | +4.10 | 81 | 50 |
| #4 | HitzK0pf | +1.25 | 73 | 78 |
| #5 | meowdy | -0.11 | 75 | 61 |





