








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 484 | 18% |
| Smokes | 642 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 933 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 636 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,113 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PJ | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | PLAX | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Perszu | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | [$] | 64% | 39 |
| #5 | 🍌 | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Al3x | 56% | 27 |
| #12 | ♿Brzeszczot | 55% | 11 |
| #13 | squ.! | 50% | 12 |
| #14 | Black Cat | 46% | 13 |
| #15 | krizeNNN | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImmortalliS | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | [$] | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | sweet ymmij | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Al3x | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Perszu | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImmortalliS | 195 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | sweet ymmij | 151 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Perszu | 141 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | __ᴋ4ʙᴇʟ | 68 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | PLAX | 62 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImmortalliS | +3.30 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | krizeNNN | +3.28 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | ERO | +1.78 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | PLAX | +1.27 | 84 | 70 |
| #5 | ♿Brzeszczot | +0.58 | 51 | 77 |





